You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
