Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
she smelled like a LAN party
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize
