I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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