Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
