Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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