How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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