Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize