just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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