Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
