I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
