Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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