So drunk, too bad you don't want this
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
