We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
