conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
