well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
