I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
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