I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Randomize
