OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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