They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
