I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Randomize
