it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I am midnight drunk by noon
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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