I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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