But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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