gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
