I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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