found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
