apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I think my moral compass just broke
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize