New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
