No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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