he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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