69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Just cropdusted the office
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
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