Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
