I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Randomize
