Rock
Scissors
Fuck
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
