I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
