He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Actions speak louder than pants.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
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