Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
