you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
