soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
