if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
