So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
