Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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