I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
