that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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