I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Randomize
