I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
not ubering you a puppy
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
