I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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