Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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