I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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