in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
