Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
