All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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