It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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