Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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