I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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