ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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