forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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