I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
