You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
