i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
