He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Randomize
