Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
"it" just moved
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
